A week in February

Well it's April and I am just looking at the photos I took on our week away back in February, we met up with friends from the UK here on their NZ adventure. OK, so I contracted some sort of rash, that didn't really help the whole holiday thing, but it meant I took things easy, swam in the sea most days and tried to sleep in. But I remember (and wrote in my journal) that I was cheesed off that I was sick on my holiday. Our friends were incredibly accommodating, I guess that's what friendship is all about. 

It took me about 3 weeks to feel back to normal (tragically this still seems to mean exhausted every day after work). I was supported by work folks and now over a long weekend can take the time to load and look at the photos. I had great plans to get copies to our friends, (my head is full of many a great plan) but today I will get them onto Flickr and the other great plans will just have to wait in line. 

What has been great looking at these photos now was the great memories, smiles and happy thoughts that came to me. Plus the warmth and the wonder of the sea. I need to remember how much I can be nurtured by nature. 

What I also think of, is all the things I did that aren't captured on a photo. I'm feeling proud of swimming to that pontoon, despite the panic that set in and then I jumped off it. Yep, cowardly scared me. Jumped. Didn't use the steps, I jumped. I felt great. Now how to bottle that. 

At Flagstaff Hill, before the rash set in. 

While on The Cream Trip. Lush tour of the Bay of Islands. 

Sunset cruise on the tall ship 

There aren't many photos of me during this time, the rash adding to my usual un-photogenic state, but this one makes me smile 

Russell pier from the Duke of Marlborough

The Hole in the Rock. Has to be done. 

Maori Bay after walking from Murawai beach 

Lush evening colours on the drive back to Auckland 

My Morning View

I've been subtly trying to work through this blog the effort I make to create some space between my job and the rest of me. It's been years and I am no where near an answer, solution or even close. 

There are many reasons why I pour my heart and soul into my work, but the video from Jamie Ridler as part of April Love from Susannah Conway really hit a nerve. I've never had lessons on self nourishment, I learnt from watching the women around me that we come last, everyone else is before me and when we do have time for us/me it will involve cake. So the video really did ring true, that these things I do for me, don't sustain or build me. I know what I need to do, but actually doing it is so tough. Let me show myself a bit of kindness here in that I have started and I'm loving the Saturday yoga class. Going with a friend helped and I feel great after the class. 

I have digressed from 'my morning view' somewhat. On waking up on the 1st April, it was dark, I tried playing with the iPhone, but that wasn't going to cut it. On leaving for work, still dark, and then there I am at work and in I go. I did for a brief moment think, oh that pile of papers on the table, that will make a great photo. But a fleeting thought was all it was. Twice or even three times I thought about snapping the great view that I pass when walking from my office to various meetings. Again, a passing thought. What did I think was going to happen if I just stopped for two minutes and took a photo. Seriously.

So now it's a long weekend, and I can sit and type and sound wise and insightful, but really how do I translate this to everyday. My morning this morning. Nourishing. The cats played nice and both curled up on my lap while I enjoyed the lie in, watching the increasing light filter through the blinds. I took photos in the garden to play catch up with the April Love posts, then spent a good while looking through all the other wonders that Intstagram had for me. Oh and a bit of breakfast, leaving the full cooked breakfast for later in the weekend it was fresh croissants, jam and coffee.

I'm sure the chaos of the clothes looks better in black and white

This close and still purring 

OK, there is room for two

Any flower is a favourite

Breakfast at home. The fruits of doing some shopping after work. 

Concealed

Of late it has been about self care and really just getting through the day. I am getting through the days, but I'm not taking photos or writing. Even my doodle journal is neglected. I'm reading and loosing myself in the words and the stories. If I'm honest I'm also reading and browsing blogs and doing way too much comparison. 

The season is changing here and I love it. It is one of the reasons I picked New Zealand and while we don't really get a winter in Auckland, this end of summer start of Autumn time is one of my favourites. We celebrated the Autumn Equinox a couple of days ago (no, no photos) but made some decisions about moving forward and had some honest answers to what has been holding us back. 

Onward then. 

And just to prove I haven't become a total recluse (yet) here is March so far

Soaking up the sun, cloud watching (but still wanting to hide)

Walking off a hangover and loving the light

Tidying the garden in readiness for the cyclone (that we were sparred).
Welcoming Autumn

Coffee at the art gallery (as shoe shopping failed)

Chaos

Here I stood, how did it get to this. One step forward then about 20 backwards. It's not quite what I like, but I like it a little. So I stopped to capture it and now on returning from a little trip away I revisit the photo and the desk, fight my way through and just write. The trip saw me plagued by a rash, the week has gone and I feel no rest has come, but the skin has browned in the sun and I have swam in the sea and the plague is settling. Adam took care of me. But I think I need to take care of me and find my place in the room and the world. I will sleep tonight and awake to try again.